


Memory

by BubbaKnowlton



Series: Evil Space Dads [74]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Amnesia, Childbirth, Each section has its own content warnings in the end notes, M/M, Memory Loss, Mpreg, Threats, Vomit Mention, implied past rape/noncon, mpreg Hux, some sections contain the following:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-22 00:49:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12469792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbaKnowlton/pseuds/BubbaKnowlton
Summary: Sequel to Amnesia, it would be better to read that first before reading any of these.For @omega-Hux on tumblr/discordFive different endings for Amnesia, all depending on whether or not Ren lied to Hux about his missing memories, and the severity of each.





	Memory

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE CHECK THE END NOTE FOR INDIVIDUAL SECTIONS' CONTENT WARNINGS  
> I tried not to be too explicit with anything.  
> I couldn't come up with just one ending I liked, so I wrote 5 :'^)

**Memory (Version 1)**

Emil shrieked with laughter as Ren floated him in the air with the Force. Hux hadn't been so sure about letting Ren use the Force to play with their son, but as soon as Emil started laughing, he didn't mind. He loved seeing the toddler get excited about things, loved seeing both of his sons happy and enjoying themselves.

Emmett, not wanting to miss out on any attention, made a noise. Hux looked down at him. He'd put him on the bed, and was trying to play with him. He was still too young to really play, but he liked having his tummy rubbed and things dangled over him. Hux patted his tummy, and Emmett gurgled happily.

Ren spun Emil slowly a few times, until Emil whined to get down. Dizzy, the toddler immediately spat up on Ren. Hux held back a laugh, and Ren sighed. Emil whimpered. Hux took him, and patted his back until he calmed down. Ren went off to find a clean shirt.

"Too much Force, Em?" Emil clung to him. "You like the ground, don't you? Do you want to see your brother? I'm sure Emmett wants to play with you." He let Emil sit next to the baby. The one month old looked at Emil.

"Nah!" Emil tried to crawl on top of him. Hux held him back. "Em!"

"That's your nickname. Can you say your brother's name? It's Emmett. Emmett."

"Em-em. Em em em em-" Emil repeated the syllable, pleased with himself. "Em-em."

"I guess his name is Em-em. Good try."

-

Three weeks after Hux returned to the ship, just as he was falling asleep, there was the sound of a crash, and then Emil started wailing. He quickly got up and went to the crib as Ren turned on the light. Emil was sitting up, crying, a box of supplies spilled all over in his crib. His arm and forehead were bruised. Hux scooped him, rocking him while checking for other injuries. "What happened, Em?"

"Is he okay?" Ren came over.

"He's a bit bruised..." Hux didn't find any other bruises. Emil started to calm down, so Hux kissed his head, patting his back. "You're okay, darling."

Ren looked into the crib. "Wasn't this next to the bed? The only way it could have fell on him is if he... used the Force."

"He's Force sensitive?"

"He has to be. My family has a history of presenting late in life, but he's taking after me and showing signs early." Ren took him, and held him up. "Look at you, you'll be a great Knight someday!"

"I forbid you from giving him a lightsaber until he reaches double digits."

Ren held Emil close when the boy whimpered. "It'll take that long before we even find a kyber crystal. Don't worry, my lightsaber is off limits. No more of the family tradition of losing hands from lightsabers."

"What?"

"Oh, you don't remember me telling you. Wait, do you remember how- no, you wouldn't."

Hux sighed. "Just go easy on him when you start teaching him how to use the Force."

"I'm sure Emmett will present soon, too. He feels just as strong as Emil."

"How are we supposed to handle two Force sensitive babies? No more kids until they're old enough to not kill themselves accidentally, even if I change my mind near my heat."

"I promise. For real, this time."

-

Ren woke him up in the middle of the night. "Hux, wake up."

"What...?"

"Do you want your memories back? I figured out how to do it."

"Ren... I'm trying to sleep." Ren didn't make any motion that he was going back to bed. Sighing, Hux said, "Do it." He instantly regretted not taking a moment to prepare himself, as he was immediately flooded by his missing memories, pain coursing through his head. Ren held onto him as he cried out.

-

 _Ren had returned to the_ Finalizer _, nervous about something. Hux only noticed because Ren was intent on spending more time with him. He was less infuriating, and more in control. He was also without a mask after completing his training, and Hux hated himself for being attracted to him. Ren didn't even know he was an omega, he'd never reciprocate. The two of them had gone for so long hating each other, he couldn't imagine it ever changing._

_The ship crashed after a brutal battle with the Resistance and their allies. Instead of going off to pursue the Jedi, Ren stayed onboard. He came up to the bridge as the ship hurtled into a planet's atmosphere. The ship broke into pieces, and the bridge split in half as the ship hit the ground. Hux was knocked out when he was toppled over, and awoke to find himself overheated and sore. His arm was hurting from trying to catch himself, and he suspected it was fractured._

_Looking up through the giant gap where the ceiling used to be, Hux could see ships circling ahead. They weren't firing, so perhaps they were there to capture prisoners. He wondered what the rest of the fleet would do once they finally arrived. Snoke was out of contact, and he had no way to get through to them and give orders._

_He sat up and looked around. A few dead bodies, but most of the crew seemed to be gone. Escaped, probably. Someone climbed up into the bridge. "Ren?"_

_"Hux! Are you hurt?"_

_"My arm, but- what are you doing?" Ren came over to him, looking worried. As he knelt down next to him, his eyes widened._

_"You're going into heat!"_

_"Well-" He'd never really considered what would happen if Ren knew he was an omega. He'd always guessed Ren would view him as being weak, but he'd never thought it'd be revealed like this. Ren had calmed down in his impulsivity, but Hux wasn't sure if he'd go back to that when his instincts demanded he take care of a heat-raddled omega._

_"I'm not going to do anything to you. Come on, we need to get out of here before the Resistance finds us."_

-

_"You... didn't breed me?" Ren had brought them onto a ship he stole from some merchant. It was a decent size, with a comfortable, if not a bit small for two people, bed in the main room. He'd woken up with Ren laying next to him, turned towards the wall._

_"No, of course not."_

_"Why not?"_

_"You didn't want me to when you were sober."_

-

_Hux knew he had feelings for Ren. Enough to give him permission to breed him during his next heat, just not to mate. Ren had told him he'd get pregnant, and Hux knew that. He'd wanted Ren's baby, but lied and instead told him he just wanted a child, not specifically his._

_He'd been throwing up for a week, nauseous for a week before that, so he knew he was definitely expecting. He really wanted Ren to mate him, but also didn't believe that Ren felt the same. Biology just might make Ren agree, surely his scent would make Ren feel the urge to be close to him, not out of love._

_Maybe he was an idiot for asking to be bred by an alpha who wasn't in love with him. He couldn't bring himself to look at or speak to Ren that day, feeling too ashamed. Briefly, he wondered if it was his hormones making him feel so strongly, but that didn't make him feel any better, so it didn't matter. Either way, he found himself fighting back tears in the refresher, one hand over his belly._

_A knock on the door startled him. "Hux, are you okay? I can sense your distress all the way in the cockpit."_

_"I'm fine."_

_"Are you sure? You sound like you're crying. Do you... Do you regret getting pregnant?"_

_"No, it's just..." He didn't want to tell him, out of fear of rejection. "It's ridiculous."_

_"Hux, I want to know what's bothering you. I know you probably don't feel the same, but I really care about you, and I want you to be happy."_

_"Really?" At Ren's affirmative, Hux opened the refresher door. Stepping out, he looked at Ren, trying to gauge if he was sincere or not. "Not just because I'm an omega?"_

_"Of course not. I tried to show you on the_ Finalizer _before I even knew you were an omega." Hux was so relieved. He hugged Ren, burying his face in his neck. "Oh."_

_"I want you to mate me."_

_"Hux..."_

-

_Hux was exhausted after a difficult labor, but he didn't want to sleep, watching his newborn squirm around on the bed between them. The baby was so tiny, he could hardly believe it. Stars, he could hardly believe that he was his. He didn't want to start crying again, but he knew his hormones were still all out of shape and he couldn't really control it._

_The baby whined, so Hux tugged him close to nurse him. Ren moved closer as well, wrapping an arm around his waist. He gave Hux a kiss, careful not to bump into the baby at all. After pulling away he looked down at their son. "What are you going to name him?"_

_"Emilio Hux-Ren."_

_"That's nice. Emil for short?"_

_"No."_

_"Em?"_

_"No. It's a perfectly good name, and doesn't need to be shortened. How weird would it be if I called you Ky instead of Kylo or Ren?" A mistake, Ren stared at him, mouth open. "Absolutely not."_

_"Say it again, that was so cute."_

_"No!" His face felt warm. Ren laughed, giving him another kiss._

-

_Emilio was being grumpy, not wanting to play or respond to Ren as Hux cleaned the ship. Although it was never really dirty, Hux preferred to give it a good clean every week, so that the baby would be in a nice environment. Whenever he peeked in to see how the two of them were doing, Emilio didn't look happy._

_Once he finished, he came in to find that Ren was trying to play with Emilio by showing him a toy, but Emilio had no interest in it, and instead looked close to crying._

_"Come on, Em- you love your stuffed lothcat, why won't you play with it?"_

_"He's just in a bad mood. I'm sure he'll be all better by-" Emilio made a noise, and reached out towards him, smiling. "-by... Oh..."_

_Hux realized that Emilio had just missed him. He immediately felt overwhelmed by emotion. He went to the baby and took him. "Oh, you poor thing, you missed me, didn't you? I missed you too... I'm sorry I was so busy."_

_"This is so unfair, he doesn't do this when I'm gone."_

_"You're the sweetest little thing in the galaxy, and I left you all alone..."_

_"He's been with me the whole time. What- why are you crying?!"_

_"I love you too, darling..." Hux kissed Emilio's head. "Ren, I want another baby."_

_"You're not even pregnant, why are you getting so emotional?"_

_"I change my mind about not wanting another one. Emilio loves me so much, he needs a little sibling to keep him company when I'm not around."_

_"You're not even listening to me," Ren sighed._

-

_Groaning as another wave of nausea came, Hux turned onto his side. Ren patted his shoulder, sitting cross legged in front of him. Emilio was gnawing on a toy, seated in Ren's lap, oblivious to his mother's discomfort. He reached up to rub the boy's head. "Hello, darling."_

_"Do you feel like throwing up?" Ren brought his hands back to the baby, ready to scoop him up in case Hux puked again. He'd already done it once that morning, and Ren had had to change._

_"I don't know. Kind of. Ugh, why did I think having another baby was a good idea?"_

_"Because you wanted Em to have a friend."_

_"Don't call him that and that's ridiculous. He has us for company. I was emotionally compromised, you shouldn't have listened to me."_

_"You'll love the baby just as much as you love Emilio."_

_"I know..." He buried his face in a pillow, putting a hand on his swollen stomach. "Thank you for not getting mad at me earlier. I love you."_

_"I love you too. I'm used to a baby spitting up on me all the time, it's fine."_

-

"-Hux, Hux!" Hux groaned, holding his head. "Stars, are you alright?"

"Why did I throw up on you so much...?"

"You never make it to the 'fresher quick enough. Are you in pain?"

"It's going away. Just a headache." Ren still looked worried, but believed him. Holding onto him, Ren nuzzled his neck. "I'm glad I have my memories back."

"Me too."

"Wait a second..." Hux sat up. "You liar!"

"What?"

"You said I wanted to name the baby Emmett, I told you I'd think of something once he was born!"

"I heard the name while I was looking for you and thought it would fit well with Emil's name so I took the opportunity when it came."

"You're so annoying!" Ren pulled him back down, cuddling him. Hux grumbled. "I can't believe the galaxy tricked me into liking the name Emil better than Emilio."

"We can rename him. We never wrote down a birth certificate."

"...No. But we'll keep calling him Emil. Wait... Why did you just leave me alone when I was delirious and injured when we crashed? And why did it take you so long to find me?!"

"I thought you'd be fine if you slept it off. I didn't think you'd run away. And the ship was really broken."

"You could have gotten a different ship!"

"I like this one..." Ren squeezed him. "It means a lot to me." He buried his face in Hux's hair. "I love your hair. You'd always keep it short, and now it's nice and long..."

-

Emil bounced on Hux's lap, reaching for his face. He made a loud, continuous noise, and Hux wasn't sure how he was capable of being so loud for so long. Didn't his throat ever hurt? There were objects bobbing in the air around them, Emil's Force sensitivity displaying in random bursts. Emil grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged, giggling.

"No, Em, don't pull Mum's hair." Hux tried to gently pry Emil's fingers off, but the baby had a grip of steel. "Ow, Em-" He neglected to fend off Emil's other hand, so the toddler now had two fistfuls of hair. Emmett whined, no longer wanting to be on his tummy. Hux tried to reach for him, but Emil took that as the cue to tug harder. Emmett began to wail, and that just made Emil even more excited. The bobbing objects began to move around.

-

"No, don't cut your hair!" Ren moaned. "It looks so pretty!" He tried to grab Hux's wrist to stop him, but Hux dodged. 

"It's a safety hazard."

"But you look so cute. Just tie it up."

"It's easier this way, and cuts back on how much we spend on shampoo."

"Don't cut it...!" Hux cut off a lock, and Ren made a small but pained noise. He continued making those noises until Hux was finished cutting, back to the length he kept it as General. He gave a smug look to Ren, and the alpha slumped.

-

Emmett cried when Hux picked him up, not recognizing him with short hair. Emil was wary of him as well. Ren laughed as Emil tried to squirm out of Hux's arms. He stood next to him, trying to soothe the toddler while holding back more laughter.

"Darlings, it's me. You know who I am." 

At the sound of his voice, the two of them stared. Emil touched his face. "Mama?"

"That's right, Em! It's Mum. Emmett, don't you recognize me too?" Emil said mama over and over again, patting his face.

Emmett wasn't so sure. Ren suggested, "I bet he'd recognize your tits-"

Hux kicked him. "Shut up!" Emmett realized it was him and stopped crying. "See, there's no need to cry, darling. Mum just cut his hair so your brother would stop tugging on it."

"He only did it once-" he avoided the next kick. "I'm sorry!"

"Are you two hungry? Em, do you want food?"

"Mama!"

"Yes, it's me." Ren took Emil, who immediately reached for his mother and made a disappointed sound. Hux smiled, cradling Emmett. 

-

 **Memory (Version 2)**

While Emmett didn't seem to mind being around Ren, Hux noticed that Emil vastly preferred to be with him, and would get fussy if Ren tried to hold him. He didn't think much of it, figuring that Emil just loved him best after two months alone with him. However, Emil didn't get used to Ren, not even after a week. 

The boy whined and squirmed as Ren played with him. Hux watched from the bed, nursing Emmett. The baby was perfectly content, but Emil started crying. Ren sighed, lifting up Emil and standing. He brought the boy over to Hux.

"He still doesn't like me."

"How odd." Hux took him, wrapping one arm around him. "He seemed to like you before."

"You remember?"

"No, there was a video on my datapad."

"Oh, right." Ren looked away. "That."

Hux looked down at Emmett, giving the baby a smile. Emmett was too focused on nursing to notice. Emil bounced, and whined again. "Ren, can you get his food?"

"He doesn't eat from me." Ren pulled a jar of baby food over with the Force. While Hux had been used to nursing Emil, they were working on weaning him to soft foods. He seemed to like baby food, but only if Hux was the one feeding him.

Almost as if to prove it, Ren opened up the jar and tried to give Emil a spoonful. Emil shut his mouth, turning his head. Ren frowned, and gave a pointed look at Hux. Sighing, Hux took the spoon. Emil hesitated, but took it from him. Enjoying it, he happily ate the rest of the jar without a fuss. 

"I told you, he won't eat if I try to feed him."

"He's just picky. I'm sure he'll grow out of it." Ren rolled his eyes in response. Hux frowned. He didn't find it too enjoyable to be around Ren. Being around him made him uneasy, and he got depressed or anxious far faster than he did when he was pregnant. Maybe it was the after effects of the pregnancy, he thought. Or maybe he needed more time to adjust to being on a ship with Ren.

Emmett whined, done nursing. Hux wiped his little face clean, and shushed him. Emmett started crying, so Hux rocked him. 

A few objects around them began to float. Ren looked around at each, and then looked at Emmett. He grinned, "He's Force sensitive!" Ren reached for him, and Hux suddenly got the feeling that something awful was going to happen. It was as if someone was projecting it to him, as Emmett wailed even louder. Emil began crying.

Hux reluctantly handed the baby to Ren. The alpha stood up. "Finally! An heir to my name- I knew you would give me a Force sensitive child the moment I stole you from that bounty hunter."

Picking up Emil, Hux got to his feet. "What?"

"You didn't actually believe I cared about you and your brat, did you?"

"Emil is your son!" 

Ren laughed. "No he's not! I found you two in the ship of some Republic bounty hunter. Emmett is my son, not your runt."

That couldn't be. Ren had told him he was Emil's father. It was his voice in the video with a happy baby Emil. Why would Ren lie? "But..."

"Stars, you're so desperate for affection that you actually believed me. You're both annoying, I can barely stand it. I don't know what I would have done if Emmett hadn't shown his sensitivity so soon."

"The video-"

"Faked. That's not me. Did you not noticed the video editing program on the datapad? I voiced it over. You voiced it too. Screamed at me once you realized what I was going to do. I'm too good of a pilot to accidentally crash a ship. You know that, don't you?"

Ren had always been an expert pilot. "You thought lost your memory from a pathetic head injury." He glared at him. "But you ran away. I could have had you under my spell if you'd just stayed put. Do you know how easy it would have been to get rid of your brat and say he died from injuries sustained in the crash? You didn't remember him, you wouldn't have cared. I went to refuel, and you left with him."

"Y-you were going to kill Emil?" Hux held the toddler protectively, taking a step back. "He's just a child! He's innocent!"

"It doesn't matter now, does it? I have no need for you. Why don't you pack your things before we land? I'll give you your memories back, as a gift."

Ren held out his hand. There was a burst of pain in his head, and everything rushed back to him.

-

_"No, don't touch me-!" His captor grabbed him, holding a syringe in one hand. "Stop!"_

_"Quiet, General. Just take this and you'll be happy. Stars, what luck to find out you're an omega."_

-

_Hux clung to his newborn, sobbing. "We'll be okay, Emilio, I promise... I'll get us out of here." The bounty hunter knocked on the door, before the ship shuddered. Hux huddled up in the corner, staying as quiet as possible. Alarms blared, and then there was a shout from the bounty hunter. After a minute, the door opened, creaking against its mechanisms. Ren stepped in, lightsaber drawn. He shut it off as soon as he saw who was in the little cell, clipping it to his belt._

_"R-Ren?"_

_"Hux? Wow..." Ren grinned. "Who would have thought the great General Hux was an omega? Just my luck, I was looking to continue my family name."_

_"No, get away!"_

_"You're coming with me. But first, let's see what records this ship has of you..."_

-

_Ren snarled as Emilio began crying. Hux slipped away to tend to him, hushing him and holding him to his chest so he could nurse. He rocked him, feeling like a horrible mother. Emilio deserved far better. All he could do to keep him alive was listen to Ren and hope that Ren wouldn't change his mind about letting the baby live._

_Ren was planning something horrible for the future, had taken pictures from the other ship's surveillance to make some kind of holograph album, but Hux didn't know what it was. Ren had taunted him, saying it wouldn't take place until he was heavy with his pups, and Hux dreaded the thought, he was terrified to be bred again._

_He didn't want another baby. Didn't want to fail another child._

-

"You monster! You're worse than that bounty hunter!"

There was a ring from the cockpit. Ren smirked at him. "We're at our destination." Taking Emmett, he left the room. The door slid shut behind him, and locked.

Hux wanted to cry, but knew he had to pack. He quickly searched for what he would need, pulling his old bag from under the bed. He filled it with diapers and clothes. The ship rattled as it descended. He shoved credits and nonperishable rations into it. He dumped jars of baby food into the bag, and the door opened.

"Come on, General."

Hux swallowed against the lump in his throat. Slinging the backpack over his shoulder, he adjusted his hold on Emilio and followed Ren. The alpha brought him to the ramp, and told him to wait there. Hux's eyes stung. He'd miss Emmett. 

Thinking about how he'd likely never see his baby again finally pushed him over the edge. Tears flowed, and he bit his lip to keep from making noise. He'd tried so hard to protect the two of them, and now he was being separated from one of his sons. 

He hoped that one day Emmett would be strong enough to get away from Ren. It seemed that in Ren's family, sons always overcame their fathers. He wasn't strong enough to face Ren without the Force, so there was no hope of saving Emmett himself.

The ship landed, and Ren came back to him. "Goodbye, Hux."

Emmett was still crying in Ren's arms. Hux trembled, wishing he could just take both his babies and run. He couldn't. All he could do was give Emmett one last kiss on the head. "Goodbye, Emmett. I love you." He didn't linger, and exited the ship. As soon as he was off of the ramp, Ren shoved him with the Force, making him fall to his knees. The ramp went back up. The ship took off just as quickly as it landed.

He was left sobbing on some unknown planet. Emilio whined, so he hugged the boy, apologizing to him.

After a while, he stood up, and looked around. Nothing as far as the eye could see. An empty wasteland, with no sign of life.

-

**Memory (Version 3)**

Ren was an extremely affectionate alpha. With all the kisses and touches he was receiving, Hux figured that his mate was making up for lost time. It didn't stop, and as time went on and his memories didn't return, Ren only seemed to get more possessive. It was annoying, at times, but Hux didn't mind much. Ren loved him, and it was nice to feel loved.

However, he was trying to sleep, and Ren wouldn't take his hands off him.

Emmett started crying, further disturbing him from his rest. He sat up, pulling away from Ren. The alpha grumbled, trying to cling to him. He pried him off, and stumbled away to take Emmett out of his crib. "Hush, sweetheart..."

After changing the baby and letting him nurse for a few minutes, Hux set him back down. Emil stood up in his crib, shouting. He'd gotten a lot more vocal after his first birthday and growing teeth. Hux lifted him up too. "What's wrong, Em?" 

"Mama!" Emil tried to touch his face. Hux still loved that Emil's first word was mama.

"It's bedtime, Em. Do you need something?"

"Babababa!" He was very confident in his strings of nonsense sounds. Hux sighed. "Nana- aaah!"

"Yes, you're very chatty, aren't you?" Emil kicked his legs. "Mum needs to sleep, Em. You were just fed and changed, so I know you don't need that. You only want attention, just like your father." Emil just giggled. Ren scoffed. Hux gave Emil a kiss on the forehead, rocking him.

It took a few minutes of rocking and talking, but Emil eventually fell asleep. Hux laid him down, and went back to bed. He flopped down next to Ren. He closed his eyes as Ren wrapped back around him. He was very warm, a comfort from the cold of the ship. Ren mouthed at the bond mark, and Hux groaned softly.

"Ren, let me sleep..."

"You used to be insatiable, what happened to that?" Ren mumbled against his neck.

"Another baby."

Ren chuckled. "You're hilarious, Hux."

"I'm telling the truth."

"You're so cute, I love it. I can't wait for you to have another heat."

Hux turned his head away. "That's not for another month. What do we even do with the kids?"

"Mm, that's true. Don't worry about them. Emilio lasted just fine during the last one. Whenever he cried I just tended to him really quickly."

"Don't I have to feed Emmett, though?"

"Nah, I have a solution for that. Want to see it now? You need to get used to it again."

He really just wanted to go to bed, but had a feeling Ren wouldn't take no for an answer. "Alright."

"Great, I'll go get it." Ren got up, climbing over him. Hux tried to get some sleep, but Ren quickly came back, clearing his throat and holding something. "It's a breast pump."

Hux didn't like the look of it. "Do I really have to use that...?"

"You didn't mind it before. It doesn't hurt. Here, we can test it now." Hux didn't want to, but Ren attached it to him anyways. Hux flushed. "This way I can feed Emmett during the night and you can sleep." Maybe it wasn't that bad. Ren set it down, and turned it on. 

He was right that it didn't hurt, but it still felt weird. It was odd seeing milk come out of him without a baby doing the nursing. After filling up a bottle, Ren shut the machine off. He popped off the bottle, and put a nipple on it. "See? You'll just fill a couple bottles before your heat, and then everything will be fine."

"That's efficient." 

"I'll go stick this in the fridge. Get some rest."

Finally. He closed his eyes. Sleep found him quickly.

-

Emil shrieked with laughter as Hux tickled him. He crawled away after a few seconds, giggling. Emmett made a noise from where he was strapped against Hux's chest. There wasn't much to do on the ship, so Hux spent most of his time playing with Emil and reading him books Ren had downloaded to the datapad. Emmett spent most of his day sleeping or eating, but Hux did some research and let Emmett spend some time building his own strength.

Emmett squirmed, so Hux took him out of the sling and put him on his stomach. At ten weeks all he could manage was raising his head and trying to roll, which the HoloNet promised he'd be able to start doing soon, but Hux was proud of him. Twenty minutes on his stomach to help strengthen his neck and arms, providing he didn't almost suffocate himself, each day. Emil liked seeing his brother at his level, and babbled away at him. Hux lifted Emil up onto his feet, and supported him until he got his balance. Emil had finally mastered standing, though he preferred to crawl.

He could take a few steps, but wasn't good at going far just yet. From the middle of the room to the edge, yes, but not much more than that before he toppled.

"Do you want to walk?"

"Wawa."

"Walk?"

"Wa." He wasn't the best at talking, but he did his best. "No wa!" He knew 'no,' though, and could make small sentences with it. Hux supposed that was better than nothing. 

"No walk? Why not?" Emil just tipped over. Hux caught him before he could land on Emmett, who was gurgling, and set him down. "Ah, no balance. Do you want a toy?" Hux grabbed one of the toys laying about. Emil sat up, took it, and immediately put it in his mouth. Hux was grateful it was too big for Emil to swallow.

Emmett face planted, so Hux rescued him before he could suffocate, flipping him onto his back. "Hello, Emmett."

"Emee!" Hux was also very proud that Emil had learned his brother's name. "No Emee!" Emil tried to swat him.

"Emil!" Hux grabbed his hand and stopped him. The toddler giggled. "Don't be mean to your brother."

He let go, and Emil softly patted his brother's face. "La Emee."

"La?" That was a new one. Emil reached for him. "What does that mean, Em?"

After picking him up, Emil said, "La mama!"

Hux figured it out. "Oh! Love. I love you too, Em." He kissed the toddler's forehead. "You're so cute." He loved them both so much he could hardly believe it. They did the cutest things. Hux hugged him. 

Emmett made a noise, jamming his hand into his mouth. Hux released Emil to tend to his youngest.

-

Hux felt a bit overheated, and knew he'd be going into heat within the next few days. He'd always gotten a light fever before his heats. As soon as he felt warm, he made sure to prepare, getting bottles filled and stored for Emmett. Ren was constantly by his side, drawn to his scent. By the time the fever was getting worse, and he could feel an urge inside of himself, Ren was practically glued to him. 

"Hux..."

"Ren, I have to give Emmett a bath."

"He's a baby, how dirty can he be? Come on, let's get in bed."

"He threw up all over himself. I'll be right back once I put the kids to bed." Ren huffed, but let him go. "If you help, it'll go faster."

"I'll get Emil ready."

-

Emmett didn't like his bath, and whined the whole time. Hux hummed, ignoring it so it would end quicker. The baby calmed down once he dried him off with a towel. His dark brown hair was fluffed up. Hux smoothed it down. After putting the baby in a diaper and onesie, he picked him up and rocked him.

"Time for bed, sweetheart." After a few minutes, Emmett fell asleep. He kept rocking him, and then gently placed him into the crib. Ren had moved Emil's crib to a separate room, and put a divider in it. That way, neither they nor the kids would be bothered. Ren could sense when the kids were upset, and would check on them frequently, he promised. Hux was still nervous, but he had short heats, so it'd just be two days.

Emil was sound asleep on his side of the crib. He looked so cute when he was sleeping, peaceful and quiet. The room was warmed up so they wouldn't be cold, and all their toys and supplies were close by. The crib had a cover so Emil couldn't escape or get into his brother's side. Hux closed and secured it, and then went back to the bedroom.

Ren was waiting for him, already pulling off his shirt.

-

Six weeks after his heat, Hux was pretty sure he was carrying multiples. His belly was already swelling, and his nausea lasted all day. He was constantly fatigued, no matter how much he rested. The kids didn't seem to notice, and Emil was becoming even more of a handful now that he was a year and a half old. Emmett was meeting his milestones a few weeks later than the HoloNet said, but according to Ren he was healthy, and more research showed that some babies were just a bit behind without any issues, so Hux wasn't too concerned. He hoped he'd be able to keep taking care of them without too much trouble while he was pregnant. Raising Emil on his own had been difficult, so Ren would make up for whatever he couldn't do.

"Ren. Can you sense how many babies there are?"

The alpha concentrated for a moment, and then smiled. "There's three."

"Triplets?"

"Yes. You'll be fine. I've got you."

"Do you think we could try bringing my memories back? It would help if I could remember my other pregnancies."

Ren eyed him. "Are you sure you want that?"

"Yes."

"You won't like what you see."

Hux rolled his eyes. "I'm sure I can handle it. I've handled having them before."

Ren held back a laugh. "Oh, I wouldn't say that." Hux frowned. Before he could ask what that meant, Ren continued. "It's too bad. I really liked this happy little family we had. It'll be a shame to ruin it, but I did miss when you did everything I said."

"What do you mean? You said we work together."

"Since when have I ever been an honest man, Hux? I live for the dark side, and the Force commands that I take what I want, for myself. I deserve to own you."

Emmett started crying in the other room. Hux started to go to tend to him, not wanting everything to come crashing down, but Ren grabbed him and pushed him up against a wall. His eyes gradually changed to yellow. In another life, Hux was sure he would have been proud, but now he was just scared. He cried out as Ren dug into his head.

-

 _Hux was suddenly pulled from the ruins of the_ Finalizer _. He'd been trapped and in a daze, barely aware of what was going on. Someone grabbed him under the arms and hefted him up. As he was freed from the wreckage, he realized that he felt feverish. He internally cursed himself for being omega, for going into heat now. He hoped that whoever was carrying him was an alien, anything but a human alpha._

_The light was blinding, so he couldn't see who was carrying him. Their scent was familiar._

_"Easy, Hux, I've got you." Kylo Ren. Exactly what he didn't want to be found by. An alpha with no control, with too much power. "You smell so sweet. I'm making you mine. Make you the breeding bitch I always knew you'd be."_

_"N-no..."_

_"I'll make you feel better."_

-

_Ren always had his hands on Hux, no matter how hard Hux tried to avoid him or pull away. If Hux struggled, he'd just dig his fingers in until he bruised. Hard into his hips, arms, face, or even his belly. Hux rubbed a hand over the swell of his belly, tears welling up in his eyes. The baby kicked, and he felt so helpless. There was no way he'd be able to last all by himself with a baby on the way. So as much as he hated Ren, as much as he wished he didn't have to be near him, he had to stay. Not that Ren would ever let him leave if he tried._

_"Why are you crying now?"_

_"Go away."_

_"You don't order me around anymore, General. I do. Now, come over here."_

_"No."_

_"You're not allowed to deny me, Armitage."_

-

_His labor had been difficult, and Ren was of no help whatsoever until the baby was partway out. He held onto the baby, feeling happy for the first time in months. This was his baby, who looked so much like him. He even had a little tuft of red hair. Ren told him he could name the baby, as a reward for his good behavior the past few weeks. He watched the baby squirm, rocking him when he cried. He brought the baby to his chest, and the newborn began to nurse._

_He didn't want to give him a family name, even though he knew it'd make Ren happy if he did. After watching the baby, he finally came up with something. "I'll name him Emilio."_

_"Hm... That's not horrible, at least. Emilio Ren."_

-

_He felt feverish as he nursed his three month old. It was a familiar warmth, one he thought he wouldn't be experiencing. He ignored it to continue feeding the baby. After Emilio finished eating, he put him in his crib. After making sure he was asleep, he left the room to find Ren._

_He found him in the cockpit, programming the navicomputer. Approaching him, the warmth only seemed to get worse. "Ren?"_

_"What is it?"_

_"I think I'm going into heat. You said the suppressants would work, but I don't think they are."_

_"Don't be stupid, Hux, those were pain relief pills."_

_"But- but you promised they were suppressants! You promised that Emilio was the only baby we'd have, since he's going to be Force sensitive."_

_"You're so cute when you get tricked. Come on, I'll make you feel better."_

_"No! You promised you wouldn't breed me again!"_

-

_A hand grabbed his wrist as he held the knife over his belly. It'd only just started to swell, and he couldn't do this again._

_"General, I wouldn't do that." Hux froze. Ren took the knife from him. "Try a stunt like that again and there'll be consequences."_

_"I don't care."_

_"Let's see... If you kill or hurt the baby, I'll just do the same to Emil. Here, I'll show you."_

_"No!"_

_Ren held him in place with the Force, and went to Emilio's crib. "Oh Emil- How's my little Em? Mum's just dreadful, isn't he? Trying to murder your sibling." He dangled the knife over the baby, and he reached for it. "Grab it, Em. Come on, Em, you can do it. Em, Em, Em-"_

_Stepping away from the crib, Ren released the omega. Hux darted to Emilio, and picked him up. "Don't hurt him!"_

_"Then do what I tell you, and we'll all be safe and sound."_

-

Hux collapsed to his knees. Ren just stared at him. Hearing the baby's crying get louder, Ren nudged him with his foot. "Go take care of the baby, Armitage."

"Y-you-"

"Come on. Emil's a big boy now, he can handle a lot, but I'm sure he'll wail his head off if you're a bad mother."

"This isn't fair... I thought-"

"As if someone like you could have a happy ending. Now go on, Emmett needs a diaper change. Emil will wake up too if you don't quiet him down."

"Don't touch Emilio."

"Then be a good omega for me, Armitage."

-

**Memory (Version 4)**

Hux couldn't understand why both of his children were so fussy all the time. He could understand Emmett being fussy, it couldn't have been fun being a newborn, but Emil had never been fussy before. He calmed down and was normal sometimes, but most of the time he was crabby and didn't respond well to talk or play. Hux checked on him daily to make sure he was alright, and recently he'd found that his gums were irritated.

A quick search on his datapad revealed he was teething. Hux excitedly told Ren, and the alpha looked happy as well, taking Emil and kissing his head. Ren stopped the ship to go pick up more supplies, and picked up some teething rings while he was off the ship.

Emil made nonsense noises around his fish shaped teething ring, saliva all over it and himself. Hux still thought babies were pretty gross, but he loved his sons and ignored the less than perfect things.

-

Throughout the first month he was back, Hux noticed that Ren was always having trouble on the ship, not knowing where things were. He got frustrated frequently, cursing whenever he was alone. Hux jokingly said that perhaps he'd hit his head during the crash as well. Ren hadn't laughed.

He was a bit awkward around the kids, not very good at holding them or playing with them. Ren caught him watching and said, "Sorry- I've never been as good as you with the kids. I don't have your natural omega mothering instincts."

"Well, my omega instincts just say to look things up on the HoloNet, so I think your alpha instincts should do that too."

Ren rolled his eyes. "We both suck, huh?"

"The kids look happy." 

Emmett was trying to eat Ren's fingers, while Emil crawled towards the doorway. Ren pulled him back with the Force. The toddler gave an angry shout. "I guess they do." Hux sat down next to him, and leaned his head against his shoulder.

"Ren... were we close?"

"Yes. You're very affectionate when you're pregnant. Got upset when I didn't give you enough attention. Very, uh..." He eyed the kids. "You were pretty needy during the earlier months. Couldn't get full enough, even with a baby in you."

"Ren!"

"Would you like to keep that up? I'd imagine you feel a little desperate after so long away from me."

He hadn't thought about having sex, too focused on taking care of the babies and getting rest after birth. At least if they did now, before he went into heat, he likely wouldn't get pregnant again.

"Once the kids are napping we can have a little fun, just like before." Hux wasn't sure, but he supposed it might help him feel closer to Ren again, maybe spark an old memory. Ren's face was close, and he could feel his cheeks heating up. He'd never gotten flustered so easily before, from what he could remember. Ren kissed him.

It was nice, until Emil barreled into them and started wailing. Ren scowled, and Hux laughed. He picked up the toddler and patted his back. "It's okay, darling."

-

_Everything was blurry, but he could tell that he was fighting against someone as they tried to hold him down. Their nails dug into his arms, and he did his best to kick them off._

-

_The ship crashed after a brutal battle with the Resistance and their allies. An officer informed him that Ren's ship had departed as the ship hurtled into a planet's atmosphere. The ship broke into pieces, and the bridge split in half as the ship hit the ground. Hux was knocked out when he was toppled over, and awoke to find himself being thrown into a tiny cell. A man with brown hair was standing in the doorway._

_"Well, well... General Starkiller, an omega."_

-

Hux woke up with a gasp. He sat up, heart racing. His body was sore, unused to so much activity, and how rough Ren had been. If they didn't have two children together, Hux would have thought that was Ren's first time fucking him. Sighing, he stayed up until his heart rate steadied. He laid back down, turning onto his side to face Ren. The alpha was sound asleep.

He wondered if his nightmare had been some kind of warped memory. The _Finalizer's_ destruction could have been real, but he doubted that the rest was. Ren was his mate, they'd been together since the First Order fell. Ren had told him that. Surely he would have mentioned if he had rescued him from some brunet.

Staring at Ren's face, Hux felt oddly detached. He'd always heard that omegas were supposed to be drawn to and comforted by their mated alphas, but he didn't feel that way towards Ren.

They were mated, though. The bond mark proved it, as did the kids' resemblance to him. Perhaps he was just different from other omegas, his bonding didn't work right.

Whatever the reason, it was just a dream. Hux sighed, and laid back down. He needed to sleep. The kids would need attention in the morning, and Emmett would probably wake up soon and cry for food.

-

Weeks later, Hux had a headache as he nursed Emmett. Emil was napping in the crib, exhausted after hobbling around the room multiple times as he learned to walk properly. Ren was seated behind him, having pulled the omega up against him. He had his arms wrapped around him, resting his head on his shoulder. 

There wasn't much to do on the ship when the kids were asleep or nursing, besides being intimate with Ren. He wasn't in the mood for sex very often, but he didn't mind it when Ren offered. As long as the kids were asleep and they were quiet.

Ren shifted his head, mouthing at his bond mark. Hux was sure that was supposed to make him feel loved and needy, but it didn't. Instead, he felt a bit anxious. Ren didn't stop his affections, getting more rough, nipping at the spot. Hux tilted his head to get him off. "Enough. We're already mated, you don't have to do that."

"You're just irresistible. Also, isn't your heat supposed to come soon?"

That was right. It'd been three months. "It should. I haven't felt feverish."

"Oh. Let me just check..." Ren put a hand on Hux's belly. He was quiet, and then said, "You're pregnant."

"What?"

"I didn't know an omega could get pregnant outside a heat. We're going to have a baby."

"B-but we already have two." How were they going to take care of three kids when they were already struggling with just two?

"We'll stop after this one, I promise." He didn't sound so sincere. "You've been feeling nauseous, haven't you? I'm excited."

Hux wasn't sure why he wasn't happy. He just stared down at Emmett, a feeling of dread building up in his core.

-

_The alpha provided him with a room of his own on the ship, with a decent size bunk, and a built in crib. Hux had made a nest with his limited supplies to the best of his ability. He'd been unable to fend the man off, and the heavy swell of his belly proved it, as did the messy bond mark on his neck._

_The baby kicked and squirmed, so Hux curled up in his nest and rubbed his belly. He was sore and tired, but the baby rarely let up. It kicked rather harshly, and he winced. "Oh, pup, don't do that. I know it means you're healthy and strong, but it hurts Mum."_

-

_When his water broke, Hux realized why the door was locked. He'd complained of cramps last night, before the alpha left him with his dinner, asking for a hot pack. None had came, and he'd been left alone. He wasn't given any breakfast when he woke up, and the cramps were worse, now._

_A particularly strong one had him leaning against the door, moaning. There was pressure in his pelvis, though he didn't feel an urge to push. Instinct demanded that he go to his nest and try to relax, but he knew he needed help._

_"Please, open the door! I-it's coming, I need help!" No response. He pounded on the door. "I can't give birth by myself!"_

_It took hours before he finally needed to push. By then he'd given up on any help coming, and had moved to his nest. He got on his hands and knees, and tried pushing like that, but his progress was painfully slow. He finally shifted onto his back, and propped himself up with his elbows. After a few minutes, the baby slipped out. He picked it up, wiping off its face._

_"Are you okay? Please cry..." The baby started wailing as he held him against his chest. "Oh, stars..."_

_The door finally opened. Hux looked over to see the alpha. "You all done, Armitage?" The man cut the cord, and brought him some towels to clean up with. Hux smiled down at the baby, glad to see it was okay, and happy that it resembled him. The alpha took a picture with a datapad. "You've been good lately. Here, you can have this datapad. You'll need it to research childcare."_

_Hux took it. He put it down, and focused back on the baby. "Hello, baby..."_

_"Name it whatever you want, I don't care. I'm going back to the cockpit."_

_Looking down at the baby, he wasn't really sure what to name him. He put it off until after he delivered the afterbirth and cleaned himself and the baby up in the refresher. As he cleaned the baby off, he thought of something. "I'll name you Emilio." ___

__-_ _

__That wasn't a dream. It couldn't be. Hux had never dreamt so vividly before, not since the dream of the _Finalizer's_ destruction. The alpha's face was clear this time. A tall, but not as tall as Ren, man, with broad shoulders and all kinds of spots and freckles. His face wasn't as unique as Ren's, and his eyes were brown and blue. His hair was dark brown, not black. Similar to Ren, but far too average to be him._ _

__Emilio whined in his crib, so Hux got up and went to him, he picked him up,and left the room. Going into the cockpit, he turned on the light. His heart was pounding as he checked Emilio's features. He looked too much like him, all of his recessive traits showing, rather than any of Ren's dominant features. Too many spots to look like Ren, red hair, heterochromatic eyes. Emmett had dark brown hair. Ren had attributed it to the fact that his parents had brown hair, yet..._ _

__"Hux, what are you doing?"_ _

__Hux jumped, spinning around. "Ren! You scared me!"_ _

__"Why are you in here?"_ _

__"Emil was crying, so I came in here to calm him down."_ _

__"You look freaked out." Ren narrowed his eyes. Hux held onto Emilio protectively. "You know stress isn't good for the baby. You figured it out, didn't you?"_ _

__"H-how did you find me?" He didn't have all his memories, just the three pieces. He wasn't even sure if Emmett was that alpha's or not. "When did you find me?"_ _

__"On Naboo. I killed a bounty hunter for his ship, right after he told me something interesting about you. He'd just tracked you down to Naboo, and was coming to get you back. I thought I'd do it for him."_ _

__"Neither of them are yours...?"_ _

__"Of course not. They're not Force sensitive. I'll let you keep them, though. I've grown fond of them. They look enough like you to pretend they're ours, and Emmett has the same hair color as my mother."_ _

__"How could you lie to me?"_ _

__"I couldn't pass up a chance to have an omega like you, could I? You wouldn't have come with me if you thought I wasn't the father, you were desperate and scared. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you, as long as you behave."_ _

__"Have you been using the Force on me?"_ _

__"Occasionally. You get so suspicious sometimes. Now that your memory is returning on its own, I suspect things will get strained between us. Don't worry. Once I bond you, you'll feel much better."_ _

__"I don't want you to! Let us go!"_ _

__"You're pregnant, you're not going anywhere. It's my child, I won't let you take them away from me. You're lucky I'm letting you keep your memory instead of wiping everything and restarting."_ _

__-_ _

__**Memory (Version 5)** _ _

__Ren was great with the kids, always trying to play with them and show them affection. Hux had to practically tear them away from him just to feed Emmett and get in some of his own time with them. But he let Ren be solely in charge of diaper duty, since the man was so intent on being a good father. Although it could sometimes be annoying, it made him happy to see his alpha and children having such a great bond. He'd worried at first that he wouldn't adjust to living with Ren, but after seeing him with the kids, he came to enjoy life on the ship, even without his memories from before._ _

__Whenever Hux asked about what he was missing, Ren seemed both eager and nervous to share. He gladly told him about baby Emil and what they'd been doing since Hux got pregnant with Emmet. However, anything before that, Hux had the strange sense that Ren was lying._ _

__Emil babbled nonsense to Ren as they sat on a blanket on the floor. Emmett was getting some tummy time, practicing lifting his head. It'd be a few months before he'd be able to crawl. "Ren, how quickly did Emil learn to roll over?"_ _

__"Oh, um... I don't really remember. He was a little bit older than Emmett is now, I think, when he started doing it."_ _

__"Ah... I just thought you'd know, since you remember everything else so clearly. He's only just over one."_ _

__"Sorry, maybe I'll remember later."_ _

__Hux didn't think he would._ _

__-_ _

__Regardless of the fact that he was certain Ren was lying about everything that came before Emmett's conceiving, Hux still enjoyed being with him. The lies didn't seem to imply anything horrible being covered up about Ren, and the man genuinely cared about him and the children. Hux trusted him, and decided that maybe Ren had genuinely forgotten those things, and was just trying to cover it up so he wouldn't look like an idiot, and failing spectacularly._ _

__Ren really was a good alpha. He was affectionate, but never pushed at Hux's boundaries, and limited touch if Hux wasn't in the mood. Ren always ended up cuddling him during the night, and Hux found that he enjoyed it. He felt safe in Ren's arms, and it was even nicer the few times they fell asleep with Emil between them. Ren would curl up protectively around the toddler, and Hux could slot in next to him, or Emil would fall asleep on his chest, and he'd wrap an arm around Hux._ _

__"Hux, we're running low on diapers and fuel. Hux, wake up." He'd been dozing off on the bed after a morning of Emil being difficult with his breakfast. He just didn't want to put the spoon in his mouth, and was getting food all over himself. "Hux, we're making a stop on Arkanis. Do you want to take the kids out once we get there?"_ _

__"If we have an umbrella."_ _

__"We do. We'll be landing in fifteen minutes. I'll help you get the kids ready."_ _

__Once the kids were bundled up and ready to be taken planetside, Ren went to the cockpit, Emil strapped to his chest in the carrier Hux had bought on Naboo. Emmett was riding in a sling for young babies, so he could be cradled with his head supported. Hux still kept an arm underneath him, a small baby bag over his shoulders. They weren't going to be off ship long, but it was better to be over prepared than unprepared when it came to babies._ _

__Emil babbled as they walked down the ramp, looking around at the space port they'd landed in. Ren went and paid for fuel, and then came back. "I have a list of what we need to stock up on."_ _

__"Lead the way." Soon after they started walking, it began to rain. Ren put up their umbrella, and Hux huddled close to him under it. It was interesting to see what Arkanis was like. He'd only lived here until he was four, so he didn't know much other than what his father had told him about it. The planet was nothing special, from what he could see, and it was just as grey and rainy as he thought it would be._ _

__They bought what they needed: diapers, food, and water. Hux carried the diaper bags, while Ren carried everything else._ _

__As they walked through a market, Ren spotted someone. "Kriff- Hux, get over here."_ _

__"What?"_ _

__"Resistance." Ren guided him to a spot behind a stall. "That was Dameron."_ _

__"The pilot?"_ _

__"Yes. I don't sense the girl, so we should be safe as long as he doesn't see me. He won't recognize you, but I look the same."_ _

__While Hux could just keep his hair long and put on some glasses to disguise himself as a normal Arkanis citizen on a day out with his baby, Ren couldn't really hide his unique features and his scar. Putting a noisy toddler on him just made him stick out even more. "Do you want to give Emil to me? He's being loud, so if I go through in plain sight, no one will notice you."_ _

__"It's risky."_ _

__"I'm from here, I look like any other citizen. So you take the umbrella and go around, and I'll go through with the kids."_ _

__"Why the umbrella?"_ _

__"Ren, look around. No one native has an umbrella." Ren reluctantly took the umbrella and their things. He gave Emil to Hux, who balanced the toddler on his hip. "Ready for a trip with Mum, boys?"_ _

__Emil shouted at him, waving an arm. He started walking._ _

__-_ _

__Dameron looked at him as Emil babbled at the top of his little lungs, like just about everyone else. Then he looked away and went back to talking to some vendor, completely unaware of who he was. He could see people smiling, and could have sworn someone went, "Cute kid," to him. Emil waved to random people, and got excited when they started waving back._ _

__"Hi!" Emil had apparently learned that word somewhere. Someone laughed, and said hello back._ _

__Hux felt so embarrassed. Emil wasn't even doing anything bad, but his face still felt warm. He made it through the market without any trouble._ _

__"Hey, Red!" Someone tapped his shoulder. He spun around, and was startled to see a Trandoshan. Then he recognized who it was._ _

__"Talon?"_ _

__"Yup! What chance, seeing you here. You live here?"_ _

__"It's my homeworld, but no."_ _

__"Hm, thought I saw a bunch of redheads. Man, Saraya's gonna freak when she sees your offspring is bigger. Oh, you had the second one!"_ _

__"Yes. His name's Emmett."_ _

__"Cute. Hold on, I'm going to find Saraya. Codmack and Horen are around somewhere."_ _

__"And Morei?"_ _

__"Wrapped around Codmack. He's got this thing about not wanting to touch the ground of public places."_ _

__"The ground is nasty, Talon!" There was Morei. Codmack came up to them, holding a bag of food. Morei ducked down to be eye level. "Hey-o, Red! How's it been?"_ _

__"Good. I found my alpha. Turns out he's quite nice."_ _

__"Oh, good! Nice to know you weren't, ya know. Codmack, look who it is." Codmack ignored him. "He's still mad at you. He's a jerk, ya know? I'm working on it. Ooh, look at that, you had your second baby! Hello, little human."_ _

__"Hi!" Emil reached for him._ _

__"Hello to you too. You learned how to talk since I last saw ya, huh? Hey kid, say a bad word. Kriff, pfassk, kark-" Hux didn't want Emil to learn a swear, but he couldn't cover his ears. All he could do was stand there, mortified. Codmack whacked Morei. "Hey, not cool... Hm, didn't work. Anyways... Wanna hear about what we did on Takodona since we last saw you? Crazy bar story, I'm itching to tell someone."_ _

__"Well-"_ _

__"Good. So, Codmack and I go into this start up bar, some lady's making it 'cause her old and crazy one got blown up a while ago by- ah! You! That's right, you, hm."_ _

__"I didn't blow up a bar."_ _

__"Whatever. So we go in to get some drinks, since Saraya is off talking to clients and she doesn't want us near them for some reason? Horen was out doing something, who cares what, so we take Bitey with us, on a leash, because he gets sad when he's alone and starts ripping up his bed, and it's so tiring to buy a new pet bed every stop. So while we're drinking, Codmack has the bright idea to give me the leash. Like... I don't have hands! The leash slips off-"_ _

__Morei really loved talking. "Oh man, Bitey's right here. Codmack, show him Bitey." Codmack turned to show that the ewok was in a carrier on his back, eating a raw fish. "We're responsible pet owners and only got yelled at once today, not including all the times Saraya yelled at us."_ _

__Hux took a step back. Codmack turned back around. Morei spotted something. "Kriff, Mack, hostile dude with a scar coming our way."_ _

__Hux turned to see Ren approaching. At the same time, Talon and Saraya arrived. "See, I told you Red was here."_ _

__"Ugh! It's bigger! There's two of them!" Saraya hid behind Talon. "I don't like them. They're not coming on the ship." Talon snickered._ _

__Ren came up, scowling. "Tage, what's going on?"_ _

__Morei whisper yelled at Codmack, "That's the guy who blew up the bar, oh stars, man! We're goners!"_ _

__"What are you idiots talking about?" Saraya glared at them. "Shut up."_ _

__"These are my friends." Hux smiled at Ren. "They were the ones who brought me to Naboo."_ _

__Ren calmed down. "Oh. Are you okay?"_ _

__"Yes. We're just catching up."_ _

__"Morei's telling that idiotic bar story, huh?"_ _

__"It's a good story, Captain! Bitey took a guy out! He's like the strongest Ewok ever!"_ _

__"Morei, I absolutely do not care. Red does not care. His creepy little talking children do not care."_ _

__"Hi!" Saraya cringed as Emil waved to her. Talon laughed._ _

__-_ _

__After catching up, the crew had to go. Hux was happy, glad to have seen people he could actually consider friends again. Ren took Emil back, who was very happy to see him again. Emmett fell asleep in his sling, worn out from the excitement of new people._ _

__"They were nice."_ _

__Hux decided not to tell Ren about how Codmack had hit him. "Yes, it was interesting living on their ship."_ _

__"Wait, one hit you?"_ _

__He shouldn't have thought about it so vividly, Ren was Force sensitive. "It was a misunderstanding. I provoked him. It's fine, I healed, and the kids weren't hurt."_ _

__Ren didn't seem so convinced. He stuck close to him. Hux rolled his eyes. Ren's alpha instinct to protect him was flaring up now that he knew he'd failed to protect him during a vulnerable point in his life. However, he had to admit it was nice to have a strong alpha who wanted to keep him and their children safe._ _

__Emil quieted down as they walked back to the ship, falling asleep in Ren's arms. He was so cute when he slept. At least, until he started drooling all over his father's chest. How babies could produce so much saliva, Hux had no idea. He was constantly worried they were dehydrating themselves with how much spit they produced._ _

__When they made it back to the ship, Ren gave him Emil and put their items away. Hux put the kids in their crib, unbundling them so they wouldn't overheat. He'd give them a bath later to make sure they didn't get sick._ _

__For now, he wanted to take a shower. He wasn't fond of getting rained on, and being around so many people made him worried about germs. The kids needed cleanliness, especially Emmett, who was too little to have a proper immune system. He undressed and got in._ _

__"Hux, I'm getting in too."_ _

__Ren claimed that they showered together to save water, but Hux doubted that. Ren just liked to touch him. The sanistream stall was small, so they had to stay pressed together. Hux couldn't imagine how they did this while he was heavily pregnant, the baby would have been crushed. Sure enough, Ren wrapped his arms around him as he turned the water on._ _

__"We're in here to get clean, not to grope each other."_ _

__"You used to make me take sonics with you and cling to me the whole time. You like it."_ _

__"Right now I want to get any germs off me so the kids won't get sick." He grabbed the soap._ _

__"You were covered with clothes. Your skin is clean. Besides, Emil spent a few months planetside with you, and he didn't get sick."_ _

__"We were in a clean apartment." Ren rolled his eyes. He nuzzled him. Hux sighed, leaning back against him. "Just wash up."_ _

__"Yes, General."_ _

__-_ _

__Emil woke up the next day crying miserably. Hux checked on him, and he was unusually warm. He continued crying, even though Hux rocked him and rubbed his back. He coughed a bit, and cried even more. "You're okay, Em... Don't cry, Mum will help you feel better..."_ _

__Ren got up off the bed. "What's wrong?"_ _

__"He's sick."_ _

__"Poor little guy. I'll go get some medicine."_ _

__As Ren retrieved the bottle of medicine, Hux tried to comfort Emil. He sat down on the bed and cradled the toddler. "Shh, Papa's getting you some medicine. You'll be okay, I promise..."_ _

__Ren came back with the bottle, and a plastic oral syringe. He filled it up with the amount listed on the back of the bottle. Hux turned Emil, and Ren put it in Emil's mouth. Emil, hating the taste, spit it out. "Em, don't spit this out." He tried again, and Emil swallowed it all._ _

__"Did you just use the Force on him?"_ _

__"He'll feel better in a few hours. I can get him to sleep, if you want." Emil was really unhappy, so Hux nodded. Within seconds, Emil was fast asleep in his arms. Hux returned him to the crib. He was still worried about him, but trusted that the medicine would work. "Don't be so worried. He's a big boy now, he can handle a lot."_ _

__"He's not even two."_ _

__"He pulled through worse when he was four months old." Hux stared at him blankly, so Ren continued, "When I first found- um... We went planetside when you were a month pregnant with Emmett, and Emil picked up this really bad fever and cough. You were an anxious wreck the whole time, and it only took a few days of medicine and lots of Force-induced naps to cure him."_ _

__"Worse than this?"_ _

__"It was a really bad fever, especially for how little he was. And he had a hard time breathing because of the cough. You were so anxious you..." He trailed off, frowning. "Anyways, he's a lot less sick than he was then. He'll be fine, I promise."_ _

__"What? What did I do?"_ _

__"It's... not important." Ren tried to change the subject. "You know, you were really emotional during your first trimester with Emmett. Once, you started crying because I kissed you in the morning, but I forgot to greet Emil. He didn't even care, he was too busy nursing."_ _

__"Over something like that...?"_ _

__"You had it in your head that I didn't want him."_ _

__"That's stupid. You said we'd decided to have a baby together, why would I suddenly think you would change your mind months after he was born?"_ _

__Ren hesitated, but then smiled. "Your hormones were really wild."_ _

__-_ _

__Sure enough, just as Ren said, Emil got over his illness after two days of napping, medicine, and grumpy feedings. Emmett was kept separate from brother so he wouldn't catch anything, and the two were happy to be reunited once Hux was sure Emil was completely healed._ _

__As the two of them played together, Emil giving Emmett various toys and letting him hit them away, Hux could feel a headache coming on. He ignored it, but it worsened. He went and laid down, and it eventually went away, but not before becoming almost unbearable._ _

__The headaches reappeared multiple times through the next two months, becoming more frequent as he neared his heat._ _

__"No more kids," Hux made Ren promise. "Two is enough."_ _

__"Don't worry. You won't get pregnant."_ _

__"You don't know that."_ _

__"I-" Ren stopped himself from saying something. Hux wanted to know what he was going to say, why he kept cutting himself off. He wanted to demand, _what are you keeping secret?__ _

__But he didn't, not wanting to chance it. Ren had been volatile during their years as co-commanders, what would it take to make him lash out like he used to? He didn't want to go from living happily to living in fear. Their children deserved a happy life, even if it was built on some secret._ _

__His heat passed, and Ren insisted that he wasn't pregnant, wouldn't let him buy a pregnancy test during their next supply run. He snapped at him that he could sense that there was no baby when he pressed, and Hux found himself flinching. Ren immediately looked guilty, hugging him and standing there in silence for too long. He only let go when Emil hobbled up to them, grabbing his leg._ _

__Hux's headaches came more frequently. Finally, as he was nursing Emmett, he passed out._ _

__-_ _

___Hux sat with Emilio in his arms. The baby, around 6 months old, was so small compared to him that he could hardly believe it. He still had trouble wrapping his head around the fact that he'd had a child, that the small person in his arms was his, that a second one was growing inside of him. The past year hadn't felt real, and sometimes all he could do was stare down at his baby and force himself to believe everything was real._ _ _

___It all felt like some dream he had yet to wake up from._ _ _

___Sighing, he finally got up, and went looking for Ren. Emilio continued eating, not at all disturbed by the movement. He needed to be cheered up, his hormones acting up, and Ren was good at doing that. Walking to the cockpit, he met him just as he was coming out. Ren smiled at him. "Hello, Hux." He gave him a soft kiss, always so delicate with him. Then he walked by him._ _ _

___Without greeting Emilio._ _ _

___Hux frowned, and looked down at the baby. Ren had never ignored him before. He'd always had a sneaking suspicion that Ren didn't actually like Emilio, and why would he? Emilio was a loud baby who cried a lot and needed a lot of attention, he wasn't even Ren's child, so the alpha had no obligation to like him. Ren's only tie to him was that he'd bonded Hux two months ago, so he was his omega's baby._ _ _

___As tears welled up in his eyes, Hux wondered why he was so upset. He supposed he really wanted Ren to like Emilio. What if Ren hated the new baby too? He'd be crushed if he went through the next six months only for his alpha to hate both of the children._ _ _

___Ren heard him start crying, and came back. "Hux? What's wrong?"_ _ _

___"Do you hate Emilio...?"_ _ _

___"No, of course not! Why would you think that?"_ _ _

___"You didn't say anything to him..." It sounded pathetic as he said it aloud. It just made him feel worse. "He's really needy and cries, and I know you're tired..."_ _ _

___"He's a baby, they cry a lot. I promise I love him. He's my son now, and so is this one." Ren patted his belly. Hux leaned against him, sniffling. "Don't think I hate him, I took you both in for a reason."_ _ _

__-_ _

___Looking down at Emilio, who was asleep against his belly, Hux wondered if Ren would ever want his own children. They'd only been there for a month, and Ren was taking things extremely slowly to keep him comfortable. He'd already broken down and begged Ren to bond him, so he didn't understand why the man was going through a stretched out version of courting._ _ _

___Ren was laying next to them, catching up on rest after a long night of Emilio refusing to sleep more than twenty minutes at a time._ _ _

___Hux hesitated, and then asked, "Ren?"_ _ _

___"Yeah...?"_ _ _

___"Are you going to breed me in the future?"_ _ _

___"Hux... Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I'm infertile."_ _ _

___"Oh."_ _ _

___"I thought I'd never have kids. I didn't want to adopt all by myself. But now I have you and Em."_ _ _

___"Emilio."_ _ _

___"Can't I give him a nickname?"_ _ _

___"No. I chose his name, and it will be used."_ _ _

___"Like your first name is used?"_ _ _

___"It... Emilio's not a horrible name, is it...?" Hux suddenly felt self conscious about the name he'd chosen. What if it was stupid? What if Emilio grew up and hated his first name as much as Hux hated his?_ _ _

___"It's a nice name, don't worry. I just want to call him a cute nickname."_ _ _

__-_ _

__Hux woke up, and found that Ren was hovering over him, worry etched on his face. "Hux! Are you alright?"_ _

__Hux couldn't believe this. He'd never felt so betrayed before. Everything he was missing felt so much worse with those two memories back. "You liar!"_ _

__Ren frowned. "Hux?"_ _

__"You said the kids were yours, and you lied to me!"_ _

__"N-no-"_ _

__"You can't have kids, you told me that yourself! How could you lie to me? I was so glad I'd found a nice alpha to settle down with. What happened to me? Who's their father?" With the guilty expression on Ren's face, Hux could only assume one thing. "I was bred, wasn't I? How could you keep that from me? I deserved to know!"_ _

__"I- I thought we'd be happier. Sometimes you tell me you wish the kids were mine. So when I found you with no memory, I... You were so much happier. No more nightmares, no more doubting that I didn't really love our kids... We felt like a real couple."_ _

__"So you just kept it from me? Hoped I'd have no memory forever?"_ _

__"I knew you'd be upset!"_ _

__"I would have rather heard it all from you instead of finding out by myself!" Hux felt like crying. He didn't actually have a happy family like he thought. Of course he didn't. Morei had been right that he'd been forcefully bred, twice. He didn't deserve the love story Ren had fabricated, where they ran away to be happy and willingly decided to have two children. They'd barely been together for over a year, and he'd spent part of that time away from him._ _

__Why couldn't Ren have told him? He'd rather have the whole story, where he'd feel safe and comforted, trusting of Ren. Instead, he got pieces and confusion and arguing._ _

__Emmett was on the bed, so Hux picked him up. He got up and went to where Emilio was in the crib, standing up. He lifted him up too, and then went into the refresher and locked himself in there. Sinking down to the floor, he hugged the kids and tried to hold back sobs. He failed miserably._ _

__Ren knocked on the door. "Hux, come out!"_ _

__"Go away!"_ _

__"Please, I'm sorry. I just wanted us to be happy."_ _

__"I want to go back to Naboo." Cruel, he knew, but he was too upset to care. Naboo was the one place nothing bad had ever happened to him on._ _

__"I don't want to lose you and the kids. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... You were so happy I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Please don't leave me."_ _

__-_ _

__His memories slowly started to come back, and Hux just felt worse as he remembered the person he'd been captured by. Reliving it had made him physically ill, but he refused to accept Ren's help. Instead, he stayed in the refresher as the memories came, dragging in a blanket and toys so the kids could play as he vomited, both from the memories themselves and the headaches they caused._ _

__He didn't know how he felt about Ren anymore. On one hand, he'd obviously been rescued, and had been cared for the past few months. On the other hand, he'd lied to him, and he still wasn't sure what had happened between them. He wasn't to those memories yet. He remembered his pregnancy with Emilio, giving birth to him in some cell, how weak and small the baby had been. How scared he'd been the whole nine months, and the first few months of Emilio's life._ _

__As the memories came, he learned that Ren had stumbled upon the other ship by chance, and had been looking to raid it for supplies while it was landed to get fuel, shortly after his morning sickness began for his pregnancy with Emmet. Ren had found him in the locked room he was kept in, and had hardly recognized him with how long his hair had been, and how sickly he looked._ _

__He'd been terrified of the alpha, but went with him anyways. Ren brought him to the ship they were on now, and gave him clothes, food and water, and let him use the refresher. He'd cleaned up and then cut his hair, hating his reflection when he saw it in the mirror. Ren had smiled at him when he came out, telling him he looked like the Hux he knew._ _

__Emilio got sick from their brief trek through a crowd, and Hux hated remembering how desperate he'd been to get him medicine, to find a way to calm himself down so he wouldn't lose his unborn baby from stress. Ren had bonded him, a quick, messy bite that helped him relax, even though they both regretted it afterwards. Ren had helped him take care of the baby, but wouldn't meet his eyes or talk much to him._ _

__The memories stopped coming, giving him a break. He cleaned out his mouth and washed his face, and then sat with the kids. He was miserable. The kids didn't notice, Emilio offering him a toy. He took it and thanked him, and the toddler giggled. The two of them were precious, they deserved a nice father like Ren._ _

__He pulled them onto his lap, wanting them close._ _

__Eventually, he had to exit the room, Emmet needing a diaper change, and Emilio wanting food. He kept his eyes to the ground as he left the refresher. Emilio waved to Ren. "Hi!"_ _

__"H-hey, Em." Ren sounded a bit hopeful. Hux quietly changed Emmet's diaper, and then left to get food. He gave Emilio a jar of baby food, and then some cereal to pick at. He ate a nutrient bar while he waited for Emilio to finish._ _

__There were footsteps, and he looked up to see Ren had followed them. Neither of them said anything, and Hux looked down at Emilio. Emmet started babbling._ _

__"Hux... I... I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know you won't accept my apology, but... Can we at least keep living together? I really like the kids, they're family to me, even though you never believed me when I said they're just as much my children as a biological child would be."_ _

__Why didn't he believe that, though? He didn't know enough. He could tell by the past few months it was true, Ren had never given a hint that he didn't like the kids or wasn't a father to them. Yet his past self hadn't. Maybe it was hormones, lack of time, lack of trust, something ridiculous. His headache was still there, so he had no doubt he'd figure out soon._ _

__"Please, can you talk to me?"_ _

__"I don't doubt you, but I'm scared of why I did before."_ _

__"You never adjusted to being here. You told me you felt like I was obligated to pretend to like them, since we bonded."_ _

__"Are you?"_ _

__"No! Do you know how happy I was when Emil started calling me dad? I thought I'd never have kids, and then you came along and now we have two and you never believed me, do you know how much it hurts to be doubted every single day? You were pregnant, so I never said anything, but it bothered me. And then you lost your memory and everything was perfect when I found you, and no matter what I do I just destroy everything!"_ _

__Ren sounded sincere, looked so upset by the end of his little rant. Emilio had stopped eating, and started crying. Ren quickly picked him up, looking guilty. "I'm sorry, Em, I didn't mean to be loud... Don't cry..." He rubbed his back. "It's okay, I'll stop yelling... Shh..."_ _

__Emil gradually calmed down, and Ren gave him some more cereal. He went back to eating._ _

__Whatever his memories were, Hux was sure that they were obscured by his irrational emotions. He wasn't sure how to apologize for that, so he just stepped up to Ren and rested his head against his shoulder. Ren was a good alpha, he could focus on maintaining their little family instead of dwelling on the past and worry._ _

__Emil gave Emmet a piece of cereal. "Em, no!" Ren pulled the cereal piece away, disturbing the quiet moment. "Don't give your brother cereal!"_ _

__"Why not?"_ _

__"I gave Em cereal when he was young and he choked on it until I pulled it out with the Force."_ _

__"When can Emmet eat solids...?"_ _

__"You just nursed until you ran off. I don't think they can start having baby food until they're four months."_ _

__"...He's three and a half months old."_ _

__"I don't want him to choke."_ _

__Maybe they would have part of that love story after all._ _

**Author's Note:**

> CONTENT WARNINGS FOR EACH SECTION:  
> Version 1 - very minor child injury, brief vomit mention  
> Version 2 - implied past rape/noncon  
> Version 3 - implied past rape/noncon, past minor injury, non-explicit past feticide attempt, non-explicit threats of child injury  
> Version 4 - implied past rape/noncon, brief childbirth scene  
> Version 5 - implied past rape/noncon, vomit mention, sick child  
> The implied rape/noncon is never explicit, and is only mentioned or implied to have happened or to happen, there are no sex scenes. Ren is not the one to have committed the noncon in version 4 and 5, and of course none is committed at all in version 1
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: @Oblioknowlton or @Tinybibmpreg


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